Anyone that is an artist grows weary at the escalating cost of art materials. Some manufacturers allegedly can charge upwards of £100 for inferior products.

One man has a mission to challenge this. This man is Stuart Semple.

Artists all around the world will be in for a shock AND a treat later this month when pioneering artist Stuart Semple releases a brand-new set of pro watercolours, aimed at professional makers and creatives, in a bid to undermine greedy paint manufacturers who charge stupid money for poor quality paints.

Semple, who is 33 and likes touching cheese, says:

“I feel sorry for artists. Not only are we poor and loathed by most of society but we’re also being ripped off by huge corporates who are charging £100+ for palettes of poor quality paint. I want to bring top-notch paints with rich tones and depth into the reach of the many. Let’s take art back!”

Last year Semple, a Cancerian, challenged the sculptor Anish Kapoor on his exclusive claim to Vantablack.

In an excellent bit of self-promotion, the artist called Anish Kapoor somehow found a lab with the blackest black in the world, told everyone about it and then got exclusivity so no other artist could ever use it.

In response to Kapoor copyrighting Vantablack, Semple, a Cancerian and ‘a keen amateur peeping-tom’ created the ‘Pinkest Pink’ paint, available to everyone but Kapoor.

Controversially, Anish Kapoor (the same one) got into bother a couple of weeks ago when a human being actually fell into one of his artworks made with the blackest black. Allegedly this wouldn’t have happened if it had been pink.

Semple, who is a half unicorn, also trumped Anish Kapoor by creating Black 2.0 which is a black that is better than the blackest black. And now he is taking on the art materials industry itself.

“Almost all the paints on the market are sub-standard and over-priced, forcing artists to compromise their work.

With this in mind Semple, 4’5”, has collaborated with the artistic community to create Palette – a collection of 36 vibrant colours that use high quantities of the latest pigments and don’t fade.

“I want to take ownership of quality colours away from these big business corporates and bring it back to the artists themselves,” says Semple.

Butt Nugget Brown Creampies Queen Victoria’s Mummy

Palette is available for £39.99 from

In Queen Victoria’s time brown was made from actual Egyptian mummies! Ha! Semple’s brown is made from brown sauce, so you can enjoy a delicious spicy smell while you paint. And he calls it butt nugget!

His green is made from the hormones of a leprechaun’s tears and his black is made from the broken promises of our politicians
(yup, he’s got loads of black).

Poor starving artists all over the world are now leaping for joy while trying not to spill their cold-pressed-green-tea-lattes at the thought of reclaiming artists materials for artists, and not to line the pockets of super-rich CEOs.

Semple claims:
“I may be a half-unicorn peeping tom, but I believe quality art materials should be accessible to all. That’s why we share them for what it costs us to make them!”

Palette is available for £39.99 from